Me and my wife, Hope, have been wanting to get a puppy for a while. We, of course, have imagined the usual thoughts. Slow meandering Sunday walks along the river side and a nice pub lunch with a friendly companion sat under the table. The issue is, I don’t like doing anything by halves and so begins the story of how we fell in love with an artic truck sized dog.
On a side note; if you want to make a grown up decision, like choosing a puppy. Don’t do it after consuming wine. Or at least give yourself some time to sober up before bringing your new best friend home.
So, as you can guess we were drinking wine and looking at pictures of dogs when Hope stumbled across a picture of Hen. Straight away, I spotted that Hen was a Great Dane x Labradoodle and was ready to come home. I was instantly excited because prior to that Hope had been keen on getting a tiny dog and me being the typical guy that I am, that just didn’t excite me. I knew I had no time to waste, so I made a phone call and within 20 minutes we were on our way to pick up our new best friend!
This is where the fun started and now I am going to give you 5 little nuggets of information that I have learnt from having a giant puppy (yes, she is a puppy despite being this big (she is only 17 weeks old and has another 18 months of growing left in her!).
- They are heavy. Hen has this innate skill of knowing exactly when we are returning to the car after a walk. At this exact point in time, she decides to plant her arse on the floor and will not move. No matter how many treats we offer her. The end result is always the same; I have to pick her up and carry her to the car, much to Hopes amusement.
- No more “Married Time”. Hen has a highly crafted awareness of the worst time to decide she wants attention. She will be sound asleep, happily led on the floor with her little (well, pretty big) legs dream running beside her right up until the moment that me and Hope start “married time”. Then, immediately wide awake Hen decides that she wants to get into bed with us. And when I say in bed, I mean head under covers full on ‘take over the bed’ in bed. End “Married Time”.
- Say goodbye to your clean home. If you love living in a home that resembles a post-apocolyptic red zone, then getting a big dog will be right up your street. If, instead, you are like every sane person on the planet who enjoys a modicum of order in your house, a big dog will turn your world upside down. Hen has a habit of waiting until straight after we have finished cleaning and then going on a rampage. She tears apart tissues, pulls all of the sofa cushions off and scatters her toys around the house. Slowly removing all trace of the thorough clean we have just spent the past 2 hours doing.
4. Get used to pain. All puppies love nothing more than munching on your hands. This is fine when the puppy in question is a normal sized dog. Obviously though, over-sized puppy equals over-sized teeth and those over-sized teeth tend to hurt when they connect with your skin. My hands have more cuts on than I thought possible and they are appearing quicker than they can heal. Of course though, when anyone else meets Hen she completely angelic. Making me and Hope look like attention seeking loonies!
5. Fart freely. Puppies eat anything in front of them and this weird concoction of food has to go somewhere. As a result, they have the ability to produce smells so bad that they make rotting flesh smell good. This, of course, has its benefits. Gone are the days of my wife looking at me with disgust after I’ve slyly let one out. All it takes is one proactive cry of, “hen, that’s disgusting” and I’m in the clear. Result!
Despite our world being turned upside down by our giant monster of a dog, I can honestly say that we wouldn’t have it any other way. Hen has so much personality and we can’t help but love her a little bit more every day, despite the havoc she enjoys bringing to our lives at any opportunity.
I’m guessing what you can take from this blog post, is absolutely nothing. Big puppies are amazing and you just have to embrace the craziness that they will undoubtedly bring into your life!
The Hopeless Husband.
Ps. Hen is getting bigger every single day and being completely honest this terrifies me!